When a tragedy/mishap/drama occured in a relationship, it changes the relationship. The change can be big or small, significant or otherwise...but it changes nonetheless. Some couple find themselves drifting far apart, and some find more of each other...
What happened the last couple of days have torn my heart and soul to pieces....I have been here before, I won't lie. I am a product of a woman who have survived numerous affairs (not of my own) and cheating partners...
What happened the last couple of days is somewhat too cliche and the pain is just too darn familiar. I mean, how else can you feel when you found out that your partner made an arrangement to cheat on you? Yes it didn't happened, but not because your partner changed his/her mind, but because he was confronted by you who happened to have all the e-mails as proof to a story of an affair that almost happened but didn't?
...*sighs*
Same 'ol same 'ol, no matter what and how the story goes....
Trust had been betrayed...pain had been inflicted...
So what now?...
Logic dictates : Run, run as fast and far as you can....while you still can. Fight..Scream...Cry....EXIT!
....instead, I stayed.
Perhaps I am an optimistic fool, or just plain stupid...perhaps I care about him that much to fight, scream, cry and leave things behind...pain lingers still...and trust has to be built again...it ain't easy I tell ya...but
I'm willing...logic(al) was never a word to describe love...I want to be able to say "I didn't give up, I tried my best...yes I did.."
Things happened for a reason they say...I'm still waiting for mine...
Frankensteina,
ReplyDeleteWomen (no matter what culture she comes from) is taught to put everybody else's happiness ahead of her except herself.
Woman is taught to believe she has to sacrifice herself for her family's honor, parents, siblings, husband/lover/boyfriend, in-laws, community...(insert anything you could think of).
At the end what does she has for herself?
Disappointment
Anger
Self-pity
Hatred
Learn to listen to your inner voice. She tells the truth, sometimes you wouldn't want to hear because the truth hurt.
It's not always easy to up and leave. Whatever your decision, be sure of yourself and your courage. The trust will never be quite the same again but if it's worth it, it can also be rebuilt in a different but equally strong way.
ReplyDeleteF-
ReplyDeleteI've gone thru almost the same thing you've just gone thru. When I found out he slept with another girl, I just cried and cried like there's no tmr. Still, being a softhearted kind of lady, I forgave him and took him back.
The truth is, the trust you had before would never be the same. Suspicions is what I call being careful, paranoid is what I call being a pain in the ass.
But I'm a revengful type of person too. I did almost the same he did (a raunchy flirt) to teach him a lesson and it hit right on his face.
It was the most devastating experience we both had to go thru but it helps a lot. That's what I call a 'sweet revenge'.
I'm not asking you to be like me. Ask yourself,do you really want this r/ship to work out? If your heart says yes...build it up again. Patience always gives you the best reward.
Anasalwa : You are like my guardian angel :) Thank you for looking out for me....I know what you mean. I will be careful I promise *hugs*
ReplyDeleteElina : I'm hoping that something good comes out of what happened. Yes it really is not that easy to trust again...but I can see that Hot Papa is trying...wish me luck *hugs*
Stellar : I know what you mean, revenge is best served cold they say...When I was much younger I would probably think of ways to get back at him...but I guess even if I am much younger and would think of ways to get back at him, I'd probably wouldn't do it. I've done it once and at the end it left me bitter and cold and in a much worse emotional predicament...but then again, I'm keeping my options open ;)
Truth is, I do not know as to whether I've made the right or wrong desicion...I know the best thing to do is to leave him..and leave him now. But one small part of me still wants to try and work things out...it's not an easy desicion...I think each and one of us here know that, perhaps we all have been through the same thing..All I can do know is do the best I can and insya allah. At the end I know I have done my best and did the right thing....if things doesn't work out, I take it as another lesson learned...wish me luck ladies and thank you.
(((HUGSSSS)))
I wish you the best but I would urge you to reconsider staying. It's human nature to want what we can't have. If you walk away from him, he will want you more. And if he doesn't, isn't it better to know now rather than later?
ReplyDelete